Best Ways to Distant Yourself From Your Loved Ones

We hear a lot of complaints from the older generation that the youth of the world is walking the wrong paths.
Being the “badshas” of our time, we laughingly ignore them because well…”aap nahi samjhoge”
But just for sake of their old souls, lets take a look at how things work around in our generation.
Here is a list of things I advise, actually correction… STRONGLY RECOMMEND you to do if you want to distant yourself from everyone who cares about you.

1. Make your cellphone your life!

Stick to your phone, after all, it sticks to you as well, doesn’t it?! Who gives an “ef” about society and social relationships and other things that go along with the word “social”! We (and I speak on behalf of the entire generation) don’t give a rat’s ass about our families and relations and all other things that our oldies care(d) about. It’s not “COOL” anymore and given that the so-called “global warming” is increasing at an alarming rate (pfft! as if we care about that either!), we can only afford to do the cool stuff right? Right!? RIGHT!? (Repeating myself is also cool, apparently.)

2. Be selfish. (Manners? Huh? What? Come again?)

What is that one and only thing that you should be caring about in this whole wide world? YOU! YOURSELF! DUH! Our elders tend to teach us that we should learn how to compromise and care about other people, their needs, their feelings and all that jibber jabber. Hell no bruh! Hell no! Only go for things that are purely and completely beneficial for you, even if it means it could destroy someone else emotionally, physically, mentally, materialistically or whatever -ally exists.

3. Be a Tinder person.

Heer-Ranjha, Laila-Majnu are all a thing of the past. If someone loves you, take that as an opportunity to get laid my friend and do hell with their feelings (refer #2). You’re with someone, you meet someone new and they are more attractive and better than your present partner, it calls for a change bruh! We’re not in the 80’s dude! Sex is the ultimate goal after all isn’t it? Love letters. Pfft! Being serious in a relationship. Pfft! Feelings. Pfft! -_-

 

4. Backstab Your “Friends” like a Boss.

So your friend told you something in confidence? Their bad! Didn’t someone tell them that if they can’t keep their own secret, why would anyone else? It’s a hot gossip, it demeans them as a person, its your time to shine. spread their word!
Choose your relationship of 3 weeks over your friendship of 13 years! That’s the way to go!
They were there for you when you needed them. “So what! Its their duty.”
They need help? “I’ve got better things to do. Ok? Okay? OKAY?
*Kaash kuch logo ko maarna legal hota*

5. Keep a negative outlook about anything and everything

What attracts one person to another person (not physically)? Ans- Positivity. What are we learning here? Exactly the opposite. Pick up all your positivity and chuck it out of the window, you won’t be needing it. Someone comes to you with something they learned or something they wish to do, demotivate the crap outta them! Be as negative as possible. Not even once tell them that it’s nice that they did it or decided to do it. Positivity should be nada!

Just be regular in the above mentioned things and you’ll be successful in being alone at the end of the day (figuratively). People will despise you, stay out of your way and then you can live happily ever after with internet

And That’s a Wrap

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